Reserves suffer a set back at home

Penn & Tylers Green FC 1 v  3 Newbury FC

A 13:45 meet at Penn & Tylers Green FC for the big match against Newbury leaves the players with a morning of relaxation and a chance to catch up on the weeks news whilst mentally preparing yourself for the challenge ahead. That is unless that player is an enthusiastic scrap metal collector by the name of Albert O’Rourke. Now Albert is not your normal midfield general, by day he is a window fitter by night he takes notes whilst watching scrap heap challenge and by weekend he is an opportunist prowling the local streets in a beaten up old van looking for broken down cars and unwanted washing machines. I guess it is just a coincidence that he shares the same name as Rag and Bone TV Icon Albert Steptoe.

The visit of Newbury saw the return of Youngy, Beaumont and Tim Barber to the reserves squad. Platty was also returning from a weekend away with the Lighthouse Learning Group, he did lots of painting, playing with play dough and colour by numbers puzzles. The guy looked exhausted. I guess that’s why his only real contribution was to get a nose bleed mid way through the first half.

Penn & Tylers Green FC started with Beaumont slotting in at centre back, with Justin moving into centre midfield alongside Mikey Benning. Youngy took the left wing spot with Andre heading up front with Tim. Andre proved in the first half to be the only real outlet for Penn & Tylers Green FC in what was an average first half display.

The first 30mins was a pretty poor affair from both teams with neither really looking to threatening, until a clipped through ball from Justin found the forward run of Andre who whipped in a tremendous ball for Tim who scrambled the ball home at the 26th attempt. Penn & Tylers Green FC were beginning to get on top and looked like they could add a second and as such were committing men forward in search of it.

This proved to be a bad move as a hopeful punt from the Newbury centre half found their number 10 who somehow managed to beat 3 players and slide the ball past the outstretched hand of Will Barber. It was very nearly 2-1 moments later when a similar routine this time found the Newbury number 9 whose left foot shot looked destined for the far corner till an expert save from Will palmed the ball wide for a corner. Goal Kick.

Half Time came and the long trudge back to the changing room followed. What tactical insights awaited the reserves this week? Neil did not fail to disappoint, he told us all about this YouTube video he had seen where a dog chases a tennis ball and each time the dog collects it he is rewarded with a treat. Apparently it is a fantastic metaphor for the rewards which are on offer for the perfect execution of a channel ball.

During half time the substitutes were told to stay out and keep warm in anticipation of an early introduction in the second half. However when Penn & Tylers Green FC returned to the pitch the two subs where deep in discussion, Prenta was talking Albert through the benefits of taking a 4 year interest free credit 0% representative repayment option on any new sofa whilst Albie told tales of taking a sofa from the side of the road and turning it into a profit. Fascinating stuff.

The second half began poorly and ended similarly. Newbury were 2-1 up within 5 minutes, can’t remember how but it happened. They were then 3-1 up moments later when a controversial penalty was giving against Will.

Albert then entered the game as Graham Potts departed after a lacklustre display at the office. Penn & Tylers Green FC apparently went from strength to strength and were unlucky not to get a goal back. I missed all this as I watched the A Team take some of the worst penalties ever seen by human eye… Whizz. Very unfortunate really as Father Will had produced some great saves to twice set up a win only for their hopes to go sailing over the bar with their penalties.

Anyway I digress. In terms of performance and result it was very poor indeed by the Reserves. Lots to work on; strikers need to work on their finishing and movement, defenders need to work on their communication but most of all Platty needs the week off training to work on his 5 x table.

Individual displays from Andre, Youngy, TC and Tim Barber provided bright spots for the home team. Whilst I will be shocked and quite frankly horrified if anyone gets the man of the match instead of Justin who put in a tremendous 90min display.

Man of the Match: William Barber

Match Report by Graham Potts